Construction Everywhere

When I moved to the middle of nowhere, I thought I had an advantage with the commute.

My first problem was slow drivers.

The second is road construction.

A paving company is very, very slowly repaving the highway that I must drive on 15 miles to go to work. One lane at a time. This involves a flagman and a lead vehicle.

Before I finish my rant, I will pause to say that I feel sorry for them. I really, really do. Unlike some un-named city/state paving projects, people really are out there at WORK. And, it's hot.

Now back to the rant. Yesterday, I read 15 PAGES of a book that I brought along for the ride as I waited. (Yes, I am the driver, but my car was completely stopped, and I was continuously monitoring my surroundings while reading. I AM an excellent multi-tasker.) That's just ridiculus.

Yesterday morning I stopped for only (ONLY) 15 minutes. I discovered another way to pass my time. I noticed the lady in the car behind me was singing. I scanned through the radio stations three times until I found the song (I think) she was listening to. A fun game. When you are slowly going INSANE, that is.

Further adding to my frustration, the road in front of my work is closed this ENTIRE week for construction. I must drive up to the next TOWN north and then back down ANOTHER highway to get to work.

I will be spending my lunch hour at Google Maps to find some other options.

Great. Now I'm Seeing Ticks Everywhere.

My tick paranoia reached an all-time high yesterday.

During the weekend, while doing yard work, I got a few mosquito bites. (Mosquitoes love me.)Since my subconscious has absolutely no willpower, I clawed at the bites. Now I have a series of small roundish scabs. One in particular, is very dark in color.

Today, during one of my regular brain lapses caused by stress at work, I looked down to see this dark spot. And it itches.

My first thought?

Holy crap!!!!! It's a TICK!!!!! Where's the tweezers?!? Where's the germ-X?!?

Then - Wait, oh yeah. It's a SCAB, genius.

100 Degrees May Be Too Hot To Take Advantage of Your Convertible

Today we took a trip up to my hometown to help my parents unload a monstrosity of a treadmill that they purchased but will never use.

Okay, they may use it three times.

We decided to live dangerously and take my Jeep, which is slowly falling apart. We pulled the top down and set off on our trip. It was such a pretty day outside, and our trip was absolutely lovely. For the first five miles.

Then we realized that it was HOT. The sun shone directly down on us, and there was no solace to be found in the air whipping through the car. The HOT air whipping through the car.

Neither of us would admit that the heat was slowly driving us insane.

45 minutes later, when I stuck my face up against the vent to get a tiny bit of cool-ness from the air condition, J decided we had enough. (He was embarassed that the passing cars might notice that his wife was having a heat stroke.) We pulled over under a bridge on the interstate and put the top back up.

We ran the air condition on high for the remainder of the trip.

After helping my parents, we visited my grandparents and my cousin with the new baby.

Other than the heat stroke, it was a good day.

We Have Follicles!

This morning, J & I met Dr. F to have another sonogram to se if the Clomid had any effect. He located several follicles in my right ovary, two of which looked promising! I should be ovulating sometime between today and Monday.

From there, I go to the hospital next week to get a blood test done. This blood test will show my Progesterone levels to see whether ovulation actually took place or not.

All of these tests should give us a pretty good picture of my reproductive health. So far, as I have mentioned before, everything is showing up normal.

If the Clomid doesn't work this time, then I may have to go another round or two before we consider more invasive diagnostic methods.

More STRANGERS

We really thought we outsmarted Max last night.

We put Max & Molly in our bathroom on the far end of the house and turned on the fan to block out noise. We greeted our company before they hit the doorbell. The visitors did not stay very long, and we thought we were pretty quiet.

Nope.

As soon as they left, we let the dogs out. Of course, they greeted J & I with their usual enthusiasm. As soon as Max turned the corner down the hallway - BARK, BARK, BARK.

Apparently it's not just seeing or hearing other people that bother him. He can SMELL them.

It's So Hot

Normally at work, we fight for the parking spot closest to the door. Today, the fight is for the one furtherest away - SHADE, glorious SHADE.

A friend sent me a few "It's So Hot" jokes to commiserate our blistering weather.

It was so hot today that:

• I saw a funeral procession pull into a Dairy Queen.
• I saw my air conditioner buying an air conditioner.
• the cows are giving evaporated milk.
• the trees are whistling for the dogs.
• hot water is coming out of both taps.
• my biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
• I realized that asphalt has a liquid state.
• I fried an egg on the hood of my car and it really cooked, but I couldn't eat it because it had paint chips in it.
• Dick Cheney replaced his defibultor with a dehumidifier.
• Campbell's Soup has changed the directions on its cans to "Just pour and eat."
• the digital thermometer on your porch displays the words, "Oh, Mama!"

Soaking Up the (Fake) Sun

Today I decided to do something for myself. There are so many things going on in my life right now that are completely out of my control, and fortunately for me, my pale, pale skin is not one of them.

During my childhood years, I spent the summer with a fabulous bronze color. I look at pictures of myself from then, and I cannot believe it is even the same person.

Yes, I know that sun-bathing promotes skin cancer, etc. I can honestly say that the bronze-ness of my past was completely accidental. I have ALWAYS worn sunscreen.

After I turned 17, my skin rebelled against any potential tanning. Instead, it turns a painful, fiery red color. And it's not just the obvious places. The top of my head - where my hair parts - burns so easily that I have to wear a hat to just step outside my door.

So what changed? No clue.

As I get older, the SPF in the sunscreen that I purchase increases to shield my increasingly fair skin. And I'm tired of hiding in long pants when it gets super-hot outside for fear of blinding those around me.

So this year - I will tan! No, I'm not doing a tanning bed or baking out in the sun. I am going for the air-brush method. My first session was today.

When I got home, J inspected me closely. I asked for his honest opinion. "It's a little darker, but I can't tell very much," he said.

Then I let him see my tan line. "Oh." (He just momentarily forgot how super-white I am.)

So, bring it on, Summer. I am ready.

Normal

My doctor just called, and my bloodwork was normal. Normal. That's us! Except that we are NOT normal. Everything we have tested is normal, normal, normal. But, SOMETHING must be the cause of our problems.

I am done with the Clomid (and the angels sang). On Saturday morning, I go in for another sonogram to find out if I am ovulating as I should be.

In Bloom

Yesterday I remembered to water the plants outside. This morning - bingo - our gardenia is blooming!

This plant sees lots of abuse. Our house is new, and getting anything to grow has been difficult. To top it off, J's brother's dogs use it for target practice. They love to MARK it - much to my chagrin - so I am completely shocked that it is even alive.

Now - 3 WHOLE BLOOMS!

Heaves, Hives, Whatever

Today at church, I overheard Monkey T talking to her friend in the pew behind me about why I lost my voice and can't talk. In the process, she also informed the entire back three rows of the congregation.

"Well, it started because Aunt A had the hives!"

Heaves, Hives, same difference.