So Where Am I, Anyway?

Though you might find me on Twitter (thanks to Twitterberry on my phone), I have not had the chance to be online a lot in the last month. It's because for the last month, I have been working on a project that involves me commuting one hour (per direction) each day. While I am so unbelievably grateful for the work, being gone all day and then coming home to an energetic almost-one-year-old is physically (and sometimes emotionally) exhausting.

Since my daughter is PRIORITY ONE, I just cannot seem to find the time to get online. As soon as Grace sees me head towards the computer, she crawls directly to the dogs' water bowls and starts sticking her hand in. All the while, she watches me with a big grin on her face.

The decision to take this job was a hard one. I would love more than anything to be able to afford to stay at home with my daughter. But, that is just not financially possible for us. I have to work.

With the economy the way that it is, project management work is hard to come by. So, I had to take a major, major pay cut. But, on the bright side, the work I am doing now stays at WORK. By the time I get in the car, I have left work completely behind.

Because of the commute, it was a hard decision. I have to be an hour away from Grace. I miss her so much while I'm gone that it's unbearable at times. I got some grief from others (thanks Mom) to reinforce my depression.

The bottom line was that I HAD to work and there were NO jobs in my area unless I took something for minimum wage WAY outside my chosen field. Since those pesky lenders require us to pay a mortgage and all, I'm completely stuck.

So, I hope you'll bear with me through this stage! I'll check in when I can.


3 Days of Doctor

Dear Grace,

A few weeks ago, you had an ear infection. At your follow-up appointment at the end of December, much to our relief everything looked fine. However, you never stopped coughing or having a runny nose. This past weekend, you began running a fever. Your dad had to hold me back from running you straight to the emergency room. So, Monday we took you to the doctor as soon as we could get you worked in.

We thought it was just another cold or something, but the doctor told us you was showing signs of pneumonia (insert my terrified thoughts of panic here). On top of this, you had lost a few ounces since your last visit (which of course, is a big deal to a baby). So, the doctor gave you an antibiotic shot (which you hated) and ordered you to come back the next day.

Four hours later, when the shot had completely worked in your system, your fever broke. On Tuesday morning, you woke up with clear nostrils for the first time in weeks. I took you back for your follow-up. Fever was still gone and according to the doctor your nose & throat looked good. But, your ears looked "Yucky". I'm sure that the doctor said "Yucky" to lessen my anxiety as your mother. But, I saw the face that she made when she saw your ears. She ordered the antibiotic shot again with another follow up visit for the next day.

This time, you saw the needle coming and began squirming as soon as it came into your line of vision. It took every ounce of strength inside of me (plus knowing that it was ultimately for your good) to let them give you that shot without tackling them to the ground and saving you from that horrific look of panic on your face. This time, you didn't stop screaming as soon as I picked you up. You screamed until you were dressed, walking out the door and had the miraculous Puffs in your mouth.

You had such a good day for the rest of the day. You felt better (with the exception of the accident that caused the humongous bruise that is now on your forehead - which is a different story). You laughed and played and were back to your normal little self.

Yesterday, Daddy took you to the follow up because you were feeling well enough that I went on to work. Your ears looked better this time, but there was still enough infection that they gave you the shot again. This time, you screamed as soon as you saw the needle. Daddy was surprised that you realized what was going on enough to be afraid. Silly Daddy. He didn't realize just how much you have learned about cause & effect lately!

The good news that you don't have to go back until your one-year check up. I cannot believe that time is so close now. I have no idea what happened to this year. Your birthday right around the corner.

I hope you feel better completely soon sweetheart.

Love Forever,