8.27.2009

Thunder

In the days that followed, I spent so many tears that I could not cry anymore. This led to a migraine. After a week straight of suffering I awoke early one morning to dizziness and nausea. Even while I was lying down. So, J took me to the ER.

It was probably the worst ER experience that I have had. Waiting to be called back. Waiting for the doctor. Waiting for the shot. Waiting for the nurse to come back and check on me. Waiting for the doctor to come and release me. Waiting for the wheelchair to wheel me out. Waiting for administration to go over paperwork. I couldn't sit still and I was crawling all over the hospital bed the entire time I was there. I had just wanted to get my shot and go home.

The doctor said I needed to see a neurologist.

I have had migraines forever, but I have never seen a specialist. My family doctors have the CT Scan, put me on Imitrex, etc. But, I have never been willing to take it further. Now, with my daughter, everything is different. I cannot afford to be immobilized. I agreed to the neurologist.

I informed my work that I would have to have some tests run.

Three days later, my manager's manager set up a call for the end of the day with himself, my manager & I. I didn't have the first clue what it was about, but I wasn't even nervous. I should have been.

I was fired.

"Budgetary reasons" he said. I really don't believe that.

When I first started this job I worked 9 days. Then I was admitted to the hospital with pre-eclampsia and the premature birth of my daughter followed. Then, I was out for 8 weeks. While the company itself was pretty understanding, I knew that my manager was bitter. I never even stood a chance with him. He spent the rest of my time with the company making my job difficult.

I knew he was threatened by me because of the close relationship that I developed with our clients. I thought that the constant positive feedback they sent his way about me would overcome that. I was wrong.

I really do believe that my telling him I would need to have some time off for doctor's appointments of the next few weeks was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. I can't prove that - that's just what my gut tells me.

Am I bitter? Probably. I'm not sorry to lose the job. I'm sorry that I have to look for another job again. But, I had been thinking about jumping ship for a while. I just wished it could have happened on my terms. And, that I would have seen it coming.

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