Things That Buzz & Bite

With trees sprouting leaves and flowers blooming, spring is finally here! We have had winter temperatures much longer than normal around here, so I am thrilled for the warmth that spring brings!

However, with the spring comes a flock of my enemies - bugs.

Now I can deal with butterflies, ladybugs, etc. In fact, I rather like them. It's the ones that buzz and bite (or sting) that send me over the edge.

It all started a few years ago when we bought a 4-wheeler. J, my Dad, Molly & I took it over to my grandparents' home. They have a open wooded area (like that forest in "Kiss the Girls") with quite a few steep hills that were ideal for seeing what the 4-wheeler was capable of.

At the bottom of one of these hills, we decided to take a break for a little while. Dad & I stood there and I held Molly as we waited to see how fast J could take off going up to the top.

The next moments were surreal - horror movie style.

I could hear someone screaming as tiny flying elves stabbed them with knives. Repeatedly. I heard people yelling in my direction, but I could not hear what they were saying over the screaming and the heavy pounding of my heart. The screaming? Yep, that was me.

The only conscious thought in my head at that moment was "Save Molly", so I threw my little dog up the hill out of the line of fire. (Later I would hear how Molly thought she had been granted the freedom to run all over the woods with her leash dangling behind and not come when anyone called her. I don't remember any of that, but I am sure that she does and is just waiting for the next opportunity).

My hero J came zooming back down the hill and grabbed me, whisking me away from the traumatic scene.

A few minutes later, my brain caught up with what the rest of my body already knew. I had been attacked by a vicious swarm of yellow jackets. J had hit their nest, and apparently they did not appreciate it.

Did the drama end there? Of course not.

We remembered that J is allergic to bees and we were without Benedryl.

So, my Dad & I zoomed to a nearby drugstore. As we stood in the longest line that the store had ever seen, I could not hold still because of all the stinging. I am sure that the cashier thought I was a crack addict late for my fix.

In the end, we were all okay, although sore for a week or so. Oh, yeah. That, and the fact that I am scarred for life. Every time I hear a "Bzzzzz", I freak out and start screaming for J to come rescue me.

Now we live in the WOODS where I am sure that the little minions of darkness ALSO LIVE. It's going to be a longer spring and summer for J.