A friend sent me a few "It's So Hot" jokes to commiserate our blistering weather.
It was so hot today that:
- I saw a funeral procession pull into a Dairy Queen.
- I saw my air conditioner buying an air conditioner.
- the cows are giving evaporated milk.
- the trees are whistling for the dogs.
- hot water is coming out of both taps.
- my biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
- I realized that asphalt has a liquid state.
- I fried an egg on the hood of my car and it really cooked, but I couldn't eat it because it had paint chips in it.
- Dick Cheney replaced his defibultor with a dehumidifier.
- Campbell's Soup has changed the directions on its cans to "Just pour and eat."
- the digital thermometer on your porch displays the words, "Oh, Mama!"