Trying to Keep Quiet

My co-workers must think I am dying. I keep missing work for doctor appointments and coming back with bruises on my arms from blood work. I stay exhausted all the time, and I'm developing dark circles under my eyes. I'm distracted and forgetful. I get continuous looks of concern.

99% of them are guys, so I'm pretty sure they don't suspect pregnancy as an option.

The other woman in the office probably has it figured it out, or if not - she's close. She is our receptionist, and sees me coming and going. One day she asked me who my doctor was. I stood there dumbfounded - taken completely off-guard. I couldn't figure out how to get out of the situation without revealing too much.

"Dr. F," I replied timidly. Her response - "Oh, I know him. He goes to my church. I see Dr. B in that office."

Oh my. So, I'm sure she knows. If not, she knows it's something related.

I did tell one of my co-workers that I trust to keep his mouth shut. I thought someone should know in case something happens and I need to leave, be out, etc.

I am having trouble concentrating, and the work days just drag on and on.

My absentmindedness has increased 300%. Not just at work. The day after I took the home pregnancy test, I forgot to wash my hair. Yes, I forgot to wash my hair. (My hair is golden blonde and very fine. It requires everyday washing. Otherwise, it looks oily.) I stood in the shower that morning and took a bath. My hair was wet afterward. It was not until after it dried and I left the house that I realized that I hadn't shampooed it.

Speaking of hair, today it feels weird. I guess it's the time where I stop losing as much hair due to hormonal changes and it begins to feel thicker. I know I washed it today!

Anyway, it's getting harder and harder to disguise my fatigue, nausea, etc. and continue to let my co-workers think that I have a dreaded disease. I'm still going to hold out as long as I can.

BTW - Tomorrow is my ultrasound. We are super-excited and super-nervous.


Anonymous said...

Your ultrasound? Your 20 week ultrasound? Are you going to find out the sex of the baby? I'm surprised you're that far along and aren't showing ;)
When you do let people know I'm sure they'll be happy and excited with you. Ok, maybe not the guys because they just don't get it ... but I'm sure the other woman will be happy to hear the official news ;)

Anonymous said...

Jeez...I just re-read the first line of yesterday's blog. 6 weeks! No wonder you're not showing ;)
Hope you feel better VERY soon!

Sayre said...

HI! Thanks for coming by to visit my blog. I always try to check out new visitors (just in case they're not blog bots). There's a girl here at work who had the same kind of first trimester that you're having. Thankfully, she's past that now and feeling much better. Your day will come too (is this your first?). Feel free to come by and visit anytime. My own baby is 9 years old now and is the absolute best thing I ever did.