Sleepless Nights

Another night, another sleep opportunity missed. I'm struggling these days with sleeping.

I have gained just enough that it's uncomfortable to sleep on my stomach, as I have for...30 years.

I've always had trouble falling asleep, which doesn't help my cause. It's important for me to go to sleep before J does, since he snores. His snoring does not come in a regular, symmetrical pattern. He just lets out a loud snore periodically or in small groups. This to me is worse than if it was all the time.

I have a methodology that I follow when he starts his nightly solo:

1. The Level 1 Sigh. I let a small audible sigh escape my mouth in the hopes that it will ever so gently wake him up enough to wake up.
   
2. The Level 1 Touch. I barely, barely touch his arm in the hopes to annoy him enough to roll over to his side, where he doesn't snore as much.
3. The More Forceful Sigh. I make a louder sigh, and no longer care about gentle waking.
   
4. The Push. I start out with a small touch and then increase the pressure until he moves.
5. The Bathroom Door. I get up loudly and go to the bathroom and allow the door to audibly close behind me.
6. The Combo. This begins with "J, you're snoring" and ends in pushing and shoving.
7. The Fakeout. If I am in a more pleasant mood than the combo requires for accurate implementation, I will say "What did you say?" out loud. Sometimes J will talk in his sleep, so it's pretty believable for me to wake him up with this question.

None of these things are making it better lately, since I have to get up frequently for the bathroom. Then I spend the next two hours trying to go back to sleep.