Waiting on Confirmation

This morning, I woke up early and couldn't go back to sleep. Instead, I took another test.

Still positive.

"Paranoid, much?" you may ask. ABSOLUTELY!

I'm still in shock.

I called Nurse Judy as soon as the doctor's office opened. I gave her, oh, maybe 5 minutes to respond before I called her again.

This time she answered. "Congratulations!" she exclaimed.

A big part of me will not acknowledge that I may be pregnant. I certainly will have a hard time if it turns out to be some sort of mistake. Just hearing the congrats of my nurse made my anxiety level triple.

Since my progesterone level was low at my test, there could be complications. They sent me to the hospital for a blood test immediately.

This blood test went much better. The nurse who took my blood this time actually *gasp* seemed to know what she was doing. I felt light-headed, but I'm sure it was just nerves.

Now I'm sitting at my desk waiting for the results to come in. Waiting, waiting, waiting. I don't do waiting so well. I called my doctor at least once already and left a message. You know, just in case they got the results and forgot to call me. I'm trying really hard not to call again.

I am completely distracted and cannot focus on anything else. Oh, by the way, I am at work and probably shouldn't be using time to type this - so ssshhh! My co-workers have come to me to make decisions about various things, and I cannot focus on what they tell me. I feel like I am on another planet - the waiting planet. The planet where people go crazy because of all the WAITING.

1 comment:

Kim Shoaf said...

Permit me to say that I did the SAME thing after all the efforts before having L. I wanted so much to believe the test was right, but didn't dare trust it. B half-laughed at me when I declared I would redo the test in the morning...when I woke up, I snuck in there and took it. I remember staring at it very seriously when it turned out positive the second time. That's when I actually considered the reality of it all.