What a Feeling

Just so you know, what I'm about to write is probably going to sound ridiculous. To all the women out there who have been pregnant before, I'm aware that in the next few moments you will be making fun of me. That's fine. I can take it.

It's hard to describe the way I have felt since finding out that I am pregnant. I'm ecstatic about it, but yet I am terrified that I am going to do something "wrong" that will endanger the baby, which all my research indicates is the size of a lentil. I have been walking extra cautiously, taking stairs extra-slowly, refusing to ride the four-wheeler, etc. All those things are probably semi-normal.

What does not feel normal is how fragile that I feel. I have been suppressing any coughing fit I feel coming on. I have avoided situations requiring me to stretch or bend in an awkward way. When my dogs come rushing at me, I grasp my midsection in a panic. I also block any potential contact of that area from wild and bouncing nieces and nephews.

Today, for the first day since I found out, I allowed my self to bend backwards in an awkward contortionist position to reach something in the back seat. And it didn't seem to have any affect at all. So later on, I felt a heavy cough coming on and I let it.

My mindset is slowly changing from total freak-out to a more relaxed (yet still cautious) philosophy. Just in time for the morning sickness to kick in.


Anonymous said...

Aww I think it's sweet ;) I remember feeling that way. I miscarried my first pregnancy so when I found out I was pregnant again I was completely parnoid. The feeling will probably pass as you get bigger and can start to feel the baby kick - it's a little reminder that he/she is still fine in there ;)

Danielle said...

I think it's perfectly normal considering how long you've waited for this. And Shanna is right- once baby starts moving and kicking it will probably be a little easier to relax.

Hang in there!

Tash said...

Aww, bless you!! Not ever having been pregnant myself, I don't know how you must be feeling, but I can appreciate that you have a ton of worry about the baby, but believe me, he/she/it (!) is quite well protected in there!! ;-)

Emily said...

Oh, SO NORMAL! When that baby feels like the size of a watermelon, then you will worry that his little feet are hurting you as they kick your liver like a punching bag!

lemonologie said...

You guys are so sweet, thanks for your encouragement!

Cathy said...

Congratulations!! Founding out your pregnant is the most wonderful feeling!