Morning Dog Duty

This morning I took my dogs outside before I left. I never remember that when I am on dog duty, I need to allot an extra 30 minutes - minimum.

Much like me, Molly & Max thrive on rituals. And these rituals are totally irrelevant to the fact that I need to be out the door and on my way to work.

First and foremost, they conspire to see who can take the longest time to go to the bathroom. I know this because when one finally gives in, the other immediately does too. Usually Molly wins.

Secondly, they must map out the current state of the yard. Every bush, piece of grass and previous bathroom remnants must be inspected to make sure that nothing moved during the night. You know, by the aliens or something.

Before Molly gets down to business, she performs the following dance:

1. Walks several steps in one direction
2. Stops
3. Spins
4. Walks several steps in the other direction
5. Spins
6. Repeats Steps 1-5, lessoning the number of steps taken in Steps 1 & 4 until she is centered and ready to go

Sometimes, like this morning, her dance gets interrupted by such inconviences as a bird singing or the wind blowing the leaves around. In this case, she has to start her dance all over again.

And that, Internet, is why I was late for work.